Everything has changed

Hello all...I'm here to tell you what I have decided to do........

I will try my best to achieve my goal to be a graphic designer and to become a famous!
I was just talking to my mom about leaving kuwait to study in Canada, " The OCAD University"...but it ends like I'm not leaving but she promised me that I will work there in the future and get the best job ever!

I have decided to open a new life with some of my close ones and decide to show them the truth about everything! The changes that I decided! Everything has changed! I will be kinda different with the ones around me right now....focusing more on my studies and everything! Not caring a lot and began improving myself to become the best enshala!.....So wish me luck guys!

All right! I am really busy right now, so I'll post something later on, so see ya and have a nice day!! :**

Old friends

Hello...

I am here again to tell you what old friends really mean to me...its like I am born to the world again.

last week I met several friends, and guess what...I saw my old friends from my old old school when I was only a little kid...I am so happy that I met them, its like everything is back were it was!

Yesterday, my friend and I was talking about the things we use to do in school....Amazing right! It gave me a great feeling...

So I really recommend everyone try to think of your childhood, don't forget your old friends...they will always be right beside when you needed them, Like I do now! I met my old friends and I'm so happy! I missed them like hell!!!

~AIS Friends~ love you all *

What I need to do or need to change..

let me see...

*I probably need to study for my upcoming exams..

*I might try to hang out with some friends..new ones.. ;p

* Change my personality a bit..

*Trying to enjoy life..

* but I should be a bit serious about uni a little more..work hard!!

*Stop caring too much! That makes it easier for me to live..and not get hurt!

*And care a bit more about my family...

*Need to be in dependable and responsible...

and thats it for now....I need to be strong as well, and not scared to face others...

It goes on and on...

It's all pointless...Why Put on the act? Why act happy when I'm really not? Why pull myself together when I'd rather just fall apart for a while? I don't want my life to always be this way..

The strength is kind of illusion..

I'm strong because I think I have to be not because I want to be. I've come to know that. My " strength" is fear based.

It's kind of a stubborn/ foolish pride kind of strength too, I'll admit it. I know it's not something to boast about, but I'm not perfect and I won't ever be.

At the same time I am not ashamed to break down and cry in public or do silly things, especially when my emotions get too strong. I'm self-assured enough to know that other people have moments of weakness too, that doesn't mean they're not strong..

It gets so overwhelming at times...

Keeping a happy face is what the society invariably expects us to do. Does anyone care what the person might be actually suffering?

There was a time when I thought that my miracle is on its way soon to get to me. That was the only thing that helped me hold on till now. I am so sick of it now.

I just feel like all pent-up anger and sadness is boiling up right underneath my skin. At this very moment, I seriously need to find an outlet for my anger and frustration. I have heard that holding in you feelings is not good for mental and physical health. Maybe I should try playing some sports which needs to use up energy. If everything fails, I will probably go to some secluded place and shout out all the things that's on my mind.