The strength is kind of illusion..
I'm strong because I think I have to be not because I want to be. I've come to know that. My " strength" is fear based.
It's kind of a stubborn/ foolish pride kind of strength too, I'll admit it. I know it's not something to boast about, but I'm not perfect and I won't ever be.
At the same time I am not ashamed to break down and cry in public or do silly things, especially when my emotions get too strong. I'm self-assured enough to know that other people have moments of weakness too, that doesn't mean they're not strong..
It gets so overwhelming at times...
Keeping a happy face is what the society invariably expects us to do. Does anyone care what the person might be actually suffering?
There was a time when I thought that my miracle is on its way soon to get to me. That was the only thing that helped me hold on till now. I am so sick of it now.
I just feel like all pent-up anger and sadness is boiling up right underneath my skin. At this very moment, I seriously need to find an outlet for my anger and frustration. I have heard that holding in you feelings is not good for mental and physical health. Maybe I should try playing some sports which needs to use up energy. If everything fails, I will probably go to some secluded place and shout out all the things that's on my mind.
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